Kinkstuff, Self-Discovery

Who is phi?

Uh. Hi. I’m phi.

Right. So, I wasn’t actually expecting people to find this blog for a while. I figured I’d fill it up with some back entries of my fetlife blogs and then eventually figure out if and how I wanted to attract other readers to read them. I mean, I have a lot of people who read them on Fetlife already.

But I get people who aren’t on Fetlife that meet me in real life and ask, “So, what do you write about?” Rather than send them to the place where they have to create an account and be subjected to ALL the deviants, I created a public facing blog where they can bear witness to just my deviance.

And now, some of you have found it. Somehow.


You don’t have the benefit of knowing me in real life or reading the near-300 back-catalog of self-expression that my Fet followers have access to, so I thought I’d share a little background that might add some dimensions to the stuff you’ll get from me if you stick around for the ride.

Here goes:

Phi is pronounced “fee” and is short for the online handle I use in my real life, which is too easy to google and connect to me, so I shortened it to phi, which people call me anyway.

I do, in fact, answer to “phi.”

I’m a 36 year-old woman that hails from (and continues to reside in) southern California. Ok, almost 37. Wow. I’m almost 37…what the …? No wait, I am 37 now. And nearly 38. Timey-wimey.

Anyway, I write about kinky shit. Mostly. If you were to really boil it down to its essence, I write about feelings.

Sometimes my writing is funny. I haven’t posted too many of those here yet, but they’re coming. Sometimes they’ll make you cry. I haven’t given you many of those yet either, but…they’re coming. Sometimes they just make you think. Sometimes they make you diddle.

People like the ones that make them diddle.

I have a day job that has nothing to do with sex or kink or writing. I want to change this, and starting a public facing blog was one of the steps in my very well-formed strategic plan to achieve literary greatness as a smut writer.

I haven’t figured out step 2 yet.

That’s a lie. I have.

Over on FetLife I started a series called Slutcapades. It’s sort of a collection of memoirs from my wanton youth (and beyond). I was a bit of a wild thing. I’m currently working on editing those stories together with the goal of self-publishing them. I’ve tested the whole self-publishing thing out w/ an e-book on kindle called No Words, which is a story about a person who looks and acts just like me receiving a visit from a very sexy man who looks and acts very much like another popular Fetlife personality.

Belts are involved.

This is a big, scary goal (the publishing, not the belt thing. Okay, also the belt thing). See, I’m not out to my parents about being kinky. I have a feeling that deviance runs in my very large extended family, so it’s only a matter of time before some cousin or aunt or uncle or in-law thinks, “hmm…that redhead looks like so-and-so. I should ask her parents if they know about this.”

I’d rather they find out from me, and I’m not quite ready to tell them yet.

I did, however, write a humorous hypothetical exchange on how that conversation would go, if I were to have it.

Okay, so you know where I came from, why I’m here, my approximate age range and a sense of what my voice is like. The part you don’t know – the part that will shed light on a lot of things is the part that throws people off sometimes.

I’m a widow.

I was with my late husband for about 10 years before he passed away in January 2014, so yes – still somewhat of a recent widow. I’ve had trouble re-negotiating how people do dating now, and the re-entry into the life of a single woman has been a bit bumpy.

I am currently partnered with a polyamorous man, at least as of the time I’m updating this writing. I am not (at this time) polyamorous myself, so that’s a fun new challenge for me to work with.

Now that that’s out of the way, I can start posting some of the other blogs that wouldn’t have made as much sense without that context.

I’m very active on fetlife so if you are already on there and want to add me, go for it. It will just make for a lot of redundancies until I have figured out how my two audiences will differ. I’m also hilariously attached to my cell phone and love receiving and replying to comments or questions here, there, or wherever, whenever possible.

Otherwise, welcome to my brain. Hope you enjoy your visits!

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