Kinkstuff, Self-Discovery

Defining my kink, and not the other way around

Sometimes my inspiration is a pharmaceutical commercial at 5am. This one started with the statement “Your body was made for better things than rheumatoid arthritis.”

My kinky brain finished the rest of the thought before I flipped the window to see what the images were that went along with the thoughts.

“Your body was made for better things….like being restrained and pushed and spread and used.”

As these thoughts spill into my head, I’m watching this serene couple having a really great time slow-motion folding towels. In fact, the entire commercial is this really crisp and sanitized and wholesome suburban montage. She and her husband fold a beach towel into a bag, then the sleepy kid in pajamas holding a floppy stuffed bunny by the ear walks into the hallway rubbing her eye, and mama gets all smiley and maternal. Later on, they’re packing up the mini van and off to their lakeside family adventure.

Meanwhile, the thoughts are in my head. Yeah, you look the picture of effortlessly casual earth-mother now, lady, but behind closed doors you’re decked out in a leather corset with stockings, garters, and knee-high patent-leather boots.

The thought made me smile. That behind these softly filtered G-rated images lies this true relishing of life and pleasure through kink.

“Your body was made for better things….”

I thought of this notion of “what kinky people look like,” and realized that it doesn’t matter what they look like. Being “kinky” doesn’t really mean you have to present it 24/7. I mean, you can….but that’s not for everyone.

It’s not that this towel folding, white one-piece swimsuit super mom can’t be authentically kinky because she’s got this wholesome exterior. I mean, hell, I clean up pretty well, too, and can adjust my outward levels of appropriateness to suit any occasion.

Corset and heels? Stripped naked in public? Evening gown? Sun dress? Casual jeans and a cardigan?

I can pull them all off, and they’re all still authentically me.

So…you know. Those are the thoughts that bounce into my head at 5am: that I don’t let my kink define who I am or dictate how I present myself every day. I get to define my kink and when, how, and with whom I express it.

As the commercial wraps up, I see the family in a canoe against the backdrop of an early morning sun.

I totally wanna fuck in a canoe now.

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