Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

A Valentine’s Day Message for Everyone

My relationship with Valentine’s Day has had a similar trajectory as my relationship with the concept of marriage in general. Once upon a time I thought it was super duper important and now I’m kind of wishing society wouldn’t put so much pressure on people to “do” it in order to feel like their relationship(s) are valid.

Like, it’s fine if you want to and you have someone to do it with, but if you’ve found yourself in circumstances where it’s not happening for you, like… that’s fine, too.

So, to all the people out there who are unpartnered on Valentine’s Day….I hope that you don’t spend a lot of time today feeling your energy being drained by a never-ending parade of Valentine’s Day stuff everywhere you look. You’re awesome, and depending on where you are on the planet, the day is either halfway or almost over.

To all the people out there who are partnered but can’t do the thing they want to do with their partner(s) because of time, distance, or …other partners; I hope that you remember that your parnter(s) do love you, and that their inability (or your inability) to do something together today is not reflective of the bond or commitment you have to one another.

And to all the people who are partnered with someone who perceives this holiday as being on a different level of importance than you do, I hope that your day isn’t spent resenting their approach to the day so much that it ruins it for both of you. Instead, I wish you the sense of appreciation of having someone who’s either willing to celebrate (or not celebrate) with you because of the care you have for each other.

And to all the people who are getting everything they want out of Valentine’s Day – who are appreciative of the way this day seems to serve as a reminder for your loved ones to speak to you in your love language – I wish you a happy, happy Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t say anything about who you are or how you are loved anymore than Cinco de Mayo tells you how much you love Mexican food. But like, you know – if you happen to have a Chile Relleno on that day – awesome. And if not – there will be more Chile Relleno tomorrow.

3 thoughts on “A Valentine’s Day Message for Everyone”

    1. That’s one of the ones that I look up every year because the world seems to think it’s about drinking and I’m like, “that can’t really be the reason why this day exists.”


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