It’s happened to me online and in person, and I know it’s happened to many of my fellow lady right-of-the-slashers. We openly identify as submissive or bottom or whatever the one that means “I’m not in charge” to us, and we’re approached by a submissive male offering (sometimes quite relentlessly) to serve us.
Why do they do that? This question was just posed in a status update on FetLife recently. Okay, actually, her question was “What does it mean?” but in answering that, I think I might have hit on something.
I know a lot of male bottoms are really into humiliation. I also know that strong lady tops are not quite as plentiful as their male counterparts.
Rejection is the low hanging fruit of humiliation, in a way. So, do they go after the strong lady submissives in the hopes of being rejected so they can get a little bit of that feeling they crave? And the ones that get pushy about it and raise our ire to the point where we’re spitting venom at them, is it…getting them off?
If that’s the case, I don’t know. It feels a little bit like dragging us into their play without our consent; only by asking in the first place they’re technically requesting consent. It’s a nice little loophole.
I haven’t had coffee yet. This just popped into my head as I was responding to her post and I figured I could turn it into a whole blog and see if anybody had any theories, comments or thoughts to add?
polyammering 
I absolutely agree! This is a pet peeve of mine. This happened to me a while ago and the male-sub-guy pushed so far, I actually felt violated by his continued arousal at my refusal. Lucky for a little “block” button. I refuse to have that happen to me again.
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Yes. Blocking is great in an online forum. One of the pushiest ones to ever approach me was actually in person at a dungeon. He kept insisting I was a Domme. It felt like he was non-consensually forcing me to engage in play with him by making me reject him rudely when he didn’t accept my polite rejection.
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