...there were moments when my every move stopped being about what I thought would get him excited, and became purely about what was driving my own pleasure.
I’m not allowed to hurt myself
I'm craving the escalation of everything. I want kisses with teeth. I want hugs with claws and texture. I don't want to be led, I want to be thrown, forced, and taken.
Why I think you want to hurt me
Do you sacrifice the pleasure of your flesh for the frisson of your power?
Phi-ty Shades Darker (SPOILERS)
I decided to smoke some pot and document my live reactions to the film 50 Shades Darker, which is now available on HBO, BTW. Below is the result. There WILL be spoilers here Oh good. She's still stammering and timid. I guess asserting herself with her former Dom didn't give her any confidence after the… Continue reading Phi-ty Shades Darker (SPOILERS)
Tops and Strength and Vulnerability: a post-GRUE post-mortem post
Let's get organized.....Here's what I want to accomplish in this essay: 1) To share my thoughts on a recent discussion in which I both observed and later participated on the subject of Tops/Dominants and vulnerability 2) To explore my own thoughts on "strength" and "weakness" as it pertains to the concept of vulnerability and/or the… Continue reading Tops and Strength and Vulnerability: a post-GRUE post-mortem post
Trust and responsibility in BDSM
In one of my early posts on Fetlife long ago, I wrote "It's not that I'm lying when I tell you I'm okay; it's that it isn't until much later that I realize I was mistaken." This week, there have been a couple posts out and about that are debating the issue of ...I guess… Continue reading Trust and responsibility in BDSM
One Lucky Whore
When I miss him, I ask if I can "see" him and he sends me a selfie. I was still three days away from seeing him again. He sent me a selfie. He was smiling in it. "is that smile for me?" I asked him. "The smile. The photo. The excitement." I grinned. "Oh, but… Continue reading One Lucky Whore
Moments and Context: Part Writing Exercise. Part Smut.
A moment without context: She felt the palm of his hand flatten against the back of her neck as his fingers, entwined in her still-damp hair, grabbed hold and pulled her back. Within seconds, she was on her hands and knees with her face pressed into the cushion - his strong grip holding her… Continue reading Moments and Context: Part Writing Exercise. Part Smut.
Submission and control: an introspective essay about the inverse proportionality of job satisfaction and my craving to submit
I want to submit because I want to feel control again. Sounds weird, right? Usually people talk about submission as the idea of giving up control.
Can you tell me how to get…
Clamps one and two were fastened to each nipple from the top; the chain lifted and inserted into her mouth where it was held between clenched teeth. Clamps three and four, also each attached to her nipples, but from the bottom. The chain lay resting against her belly. He hovered over her. A third chain… Continue reading Can you tell me how to get…