That's when the forensic relationship accounting begins. Someone (usually the mono person in the relationship) begins looking at the relationship the way an accountant might view a business profit and loss statement. They are able to clearly see the benefits for their polyamorous partner, and perhaps even for their newfound metamour - but on their own end, all they see are big red expenses.
More often than not, when people avoid telling their partner something they know should tell them because they're worried it might cause a fight or a breakup, there's a chance their partner will consider it cheating.
Imagine thinking that you failed at accepting polyamory in one sentence, and in the next being so fully accepting of his polyamorous identity that you're willing to end the relationship rather than try to force him to change.
There's a new meme going around, and I like a LOT of what it has to say. In case you haven't seen it, it's the one that suggests a more positive approach to evaluating your relationship(s). Instead of looking for "red flags," it invites people to look at the "green flags."
I have tried nearly every other form of exercise I can think of. Weight lifting. Boot camp. Running. Hiking. Walking. Yoga. Pilates. Swimming. Even Tai Chi! I like them for a session or two. I think with that bootcamp workout, I actually stuck it out for a solid month, but that was a long time… Continue reading (Not Quite) Everything you need to know about working through the trials of opening up, I learned through crossfit
How's Lady Macbeth going to handle it when this tactic turns her into the villain?
My aunt, on the topic of love, has always said "when you feel, you know..." and I was starting to think that the concept of boundaries was as nebulous as trying to define the concept of love.
I would never have to enjoy my life without him. I would have my pepperoni forever. He made me happy. He loved me. I loved him. This whole pizza thing was making me hungry and confused.
There was that one time when he had me tied up and was in the middle of sexytimes with me when she called...
The patterns exist and are recognizable. They are reinforced by the messages we consume, whether they are generated from the society's large-scale mononormative culture, or the small microcosms of polyamorous subcultures. We internalize and normalize them until we don't even see them anymore.