Once or twice a year I let my mind wander and imagine what it would be like to have another romantic relationship in addition to the amazing one I'm already in.
I would never have to enjoy my life without him. I would have my pepperoni forever. He made me happy. He loved me. I loved him. This whole pizza thing was making me hungry and confused.
The patterns exist and are recognizable. They are reinforced by the messages we consume, whether they are generated from the society's large-scale mononormative culture, or the small microcosms of polyamorous subcultures. We internalize and normalize them until we don't even see them anymore.
As a monoamorous person who has dated a handful of polyamorous partners over the last four years, I am happy to say that I have never had to increase or reduce the number of people I have wanted to be in a relationship with to make any partner happy.
Too many different things in my head. Rather than post a bunch of blogs in one night, I'm doing the ol' One Blog, Multiple Thoughts post. First up - I received an email from findpoly.com asking if they could sponsor one of my blog posts for the month. So, I've upgraded the wordpress plan to… Continue reading Thoughts: One Post, Many Topics
The subject of hierarchy comes up often in poly discussion groups. People generally fall into the camps of "hierarchy is fine" or "hierarchy is evil" and usually those who fall into the former are at the top of the pyramid, and those in the latter have been burned by being at the bottom. I think… Continue reading Some thoughts on Hierarchy vs Couples Privilege
There's a saying I've been hearing from people in poly circles over the past couple of months, in regards to opening up a relationship: "It's best to take it at the pace of the slowest person." Last night I heard it in a sightly different way, "to take it at the pace of the slowest… Continue reading A Walk in the Desert: On taking things at the pace of the slowest person
Imagine if I were to ask if anybody else out there has a kink of "playing poly." When asked to explain what I mean by "playing at poly," I described it as "you know, like when you pretend to sleep with everyone indiscriminately and not give a shit about what your partners think." I'll just… Continue reading Your Kink is Not My Kink, but Your Words Fucking Matter
...the bottom line is - we don't hate the concept of polyamory. We just don't wanna be poly ourselves.
The most frequent statement I read from people trying to transition into polyamorous relationships for their partner is the sense that they feel like they are "not enough." Whenever I see that line, my heart sort of aches for them. I understand that feeling and where it comes from, but somehow it doesn't affect me… Continue reading The thing about not feeling “enough”