Kara (she/her) and her husband have been together 15 years and have a 9 year-old daughter. How did they approach opening up their marriage 4.5 years ago, and what's changed since then?
All relationships are a gamble. Poly. Mono. Something in between. Something on another spectrum entirely. There's no guarantee that it will work indefinitely. You can only succeed if you try, but even then...it's not guaranteed.
The most frequent statement I read from people trying to transition into polyamorous relationships for their partner is the sense that they feel like they are "not enough." Whenever I see that line, my heart sort of aches for them. I understand that feeling and where it comes from, but somehow it doesn't affect me… Continue reading The thing about not feeling “enough”
There is a metric fuckton of self work that has to go into successful polyamory, whether you're on the mono side or the poly side.
Try to make a rule that your partner will never develop feelings for a sexual partner and be prepared to find yourself on the business end of a Klingon pain stick.
Don't be a Darren.
The most painful part of my monthly waxing isn't the part where she's ripping the hair out my most sensitive places. It's having to maintain a conversation with her for the two hours I spend on her table. Yes, two hours. She's meticulous. She's "tweezers to the ass crack" meticulous. This is why I put… Continue reading The Frustration with French Fries
Usually when I tell people that my relationship is unconventional, they have one of two reactions: curiosity or concern. Nobody has really shunned me for it. Some people have surprised me and shared that I'm not the first person they've met who's been involved in a poly-type relationship. By and large, the most frequent question… Continue reading Don’t you get jealous?
When talking about polystuff, I've often heard (or read) that "time is finite; love is not." When someone has multiple partners, the amount of time they can spend with any particular one is going to have limitations, because there is time they want and should spend with another one. However, time is not a useful… Continue reading Time and the Diamond Trade
First, I'll establish my credentials: I'm a monogamous (or mono-amorous) person in a relationship with a polyamorous man. My monogamy is my choice, not necessarily his preference just as his polyamory is his choice, not necessarily my preference. We've been at it for just over a year now and it's going really swell. I have,… Continue reading Change your Cookbook: A monogamuggle’s guide to cookin’ with polyfolk