"...how we internalize [hurt feelings] to send us a message about what our relationship(s) mean to our partner(s) can sometimes be more destructive than [they] need to be. "
It's a common misconception that in order for a mono person and non-mono person to make it work together, the bulk of the emotional labor falls to the mono person to "get over" the script that society had given them.
Imagine if I were to ask if anybody else out there has a kink of "playing poly." When asked to explain what I mean by "playing at poly," I described it as "you know, like when you pretend to sleep with everyone indiscriminately and not give a shit about what your partners think." I'll just… Continue reading Your Kink is Not My Kink, but Your Words Fucking Matter
Usually when I tell people that my relationship is unconventional, they have one of two reactions: curiosity or concern. Nobody has really shunned me for it. Some people have surprised me and shared that I'm not the first person they've met who's been involved in a poly-type relationship. By and large, the most frequent question… Continue reading Don’t you get jealous?
They met in the caterpillar colony, under the shade of a broad leaf. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm shooting spitballs at butterflies." he responded. She seemed puzzled. "The butterflies are beautiful and free. Why are you shooting spitballs at them?" He shrugged. "They're not any better than we are. And when I hit… Continue reading Shooting spitballs at butterflies
When you find the source of your jealousy/insecurity, you can start doing the work to address why you behave the way you do.