Politics

On Protests and Parades: an examination of my privilege and the downside of hope

It might feel like a good thing to wish that this was all over and that nobody would get hurt and that property wouldn't be vandalized, stolen, or burned; but it doesn't feel right - knowing that nothing will change until shit gets uncomfortable or inconvenient enough for those of us who don't seem to be willing to do the right thing until it affects us directly.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery

When insecurities are driving your relationship(s)

The next thing you know, the insecurity is in control not only of the established relationship, but its tendrils are reaching in and poking at the soft spots in the nascent one as well.

Coaching | Mentoring, Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

(Not Quite) Everything you need to know about working through the trials of opening up, I learned through crossfit

I have tried nearly every other form of exercise I can think of. Weight lifting. Boot camp. Running. Hiking. Walking. Yoga. Pilates. Swimming. Even Tai Chi! I like them for a session or two. I think with that bootcamp workout, I actually stuck it out for a solid month, but that was a long time… Continue reading (Not Quite) Everything you need to know about working through the trials of opening up, I learned through crossfit

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

The other side of the comparison trap

We've been socialized since birth to view everything in terms of "which is better, which is worse" and it's really difficult to unlearn that habit.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Family Relationships, Love & Relationships, Memoirs, Self-Discovery

The Pizza Analogy

I would never have to enjoy my life without him. I would have my pepperoni forever. He made me happy. He loved me. I loved him. This whole pizza thing was making me hungry and confused.

Kinkstuff, Politics, Self-Discovery

Question 16: Do you have any concerns or worries about your community or your community involvement?

I think the community wants to change in the way that I want to lose weight. Like magic, and overnight, without actually having to sacrifice anything it enjoys or put in any long term effort into the hard work and sweat it's going to take to build a new set of habits.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

Roller Coasters and Trampolines

Do your ups and downs have forward motion -- or do you keep revisiting the same spot over and over again? 

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

A Walk in the Desert: On taking things at the pace of the slowest person

There's a saying I've been hearing from people in poly circles over the past couple of months, in regards to opening up a relationship: "It's best to take it at the pace of the slowest person." Last night I heard it in a sightly different way, "to take it at the pace of the slowest… Continue reading A Walk in the Desert: On taking things at the pace of the slowest person

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

My advice to the partner of a Leeroy Jenkins-style Polyamorist

There is a metric fuckton of self work that has to go into successful polyamory, whether you're on the mono side or the poly side.