The next thing you know, the insecurity is in control not only of the established relationship, but its tendrils are reaching in and poking at the soft spots in the nascent one as well.
My aunt, on the topic of love, has always said "when you feel, you know..." and I was starting to think that the concept of boundaries was as nebulous as trying to define the concept of love.
"My partner is extremely jealous. He cheats on me. He locks his phone but insists I keep mine unlocked and that he's allowed to check it whenever he likes. I can't be friends on facebook with any men who aren't related to me, I can never talk to any of my exes, and he is… Continue reading The Consequences of Consequence Free Devotion
I stammered and resisted. He grabbed hold of my wrist and pulled me toward the shower door. I watched as he pushed the handle away from "hot" to "cold" and held me there.
Many years ago, I had a friend, Brian, who went through therapy and was able to accept that he had codependent tendencies. With his therapist, he began to set boundaries, and by talking about it with his friends, he kept cementing the new value-set in his brain. Problem was, Brian turned into a bit of… Continue reading Learning to love without solutions: further insights from a recovering codependent