I think there was a moment when I had the full realization that a non-romantic partner could be as important to me as a romantic partner - which, when I type it out right now seems like, "well, duh..." but in that moment it felt like an epiphany.
We need to have compassion for one another regardless of our individual circumstances. Comparing hardships is about as helpful as comparing partners – it’s not.
That's when the forensic relationship accounting begins. Someone (usually the mono person in the relationship) begins looking at the relationship the way an accountant might view a business profit and loss statement. They are able to clearly see the benefits for their polyamorous partner, and perhaps even for their newfound metamour - but on their own end, all they see are big red expenses.
While I'm probably not the person to write the post that tells all the polycules ten surefire ways to avoid getting and transmitting coronavirus, I am the person that writes the post that tells all the polycules that the conversation about establishing your polycule's health and wellness protocols should be included in your polyamory starter-pack.
More often than not, when people avoid telling their partner something they know should tell them because they're worried it might cause a fight or a breakup, there's a chance their partner will consider it cheating.
By now (if you're in the United States), you've likely had at least one conversation about how your polycule is going to handle Thanksgiving (or Friendsgiving), and I'm guessing there's more than a handful of hinge partners out there that are starting to feel the pressure of multiple paramours vying for spots on the holiday calendar.
What I really want to do is help people understand that there are healthy and unhealthy ways to do either, and there is definitely a way to make it work when a partnership has one of each.
There's a new meme going around, and I like a LOT of what it has to say. In case you haven't seen it, it's the one that suggests a more positive approach to evaluating your relationship(s). Instead of looking for "red flags," it invites people to look at the "green flags."
Kyra Grosman is a Brooklyn-based therapist who’s doing something really interesting – he is offering consultation and ongoing supervision for mental health professionals who are working with polyamorous or ethically nonmonogamous patients. Kyra himself has a fascinating story that he shares with us. He doesn’t actually identify as polyamorous himself, but more along the lines… Continue reading Polyammering Podcast Episode 10: Kyra Grosman
Episode nine features the lovely Annie Frazier (she/her or they/them). She's the host of Talk About Love podcast, and shares about the year and a half she spent "re-landscaping" her relationship from a married primary structure to solo-poly life.