There's a saying I've been hearing from people in poly circles over the past couple of months, in regards to opening up a relationship: "It's best to take it at the pace of the slowest person." Last night I heard it in a sightly different way, "to take it at the pace of the slowest… Continue reading A Walk in the Desert: On taking things at the pace of the slowest person
The thing about not feeling “enough”
The most frequent statement I read from people trying to transition into polyamorous relationships for their partner is the sense that they feel like they are "not enough." Whenever I see that line, my heart sort of aches for them. I understand that feeling and where it comes from, but somehow it doesn't affect me… Continue reading The thing about not feeling “enough”
My advice to the partner of a Leeroy Jenkins-style Polyamorist
There is a metric fuckton of self work that has to go into successful polyamory, whether you're on the mono side or the poly side.
Rules are Condoms: An Imperfect Metaphor
Try to make a rule that your partner will never develop feelings for a sexual partner and be prepared to find yourself on the business end of a Klingon pain stick.
The Honesty Exchange (Revisited)
It looks a little bit like the symbol for recycling - not a one-for-one exchange, but symbiotic exchange running on a continuous loop.
Another post-GRUE Post: Part 2 – Ownership of time
In the first part of this post, I shared my epiphany on thinking in terms of needs of a relationship instead of talking about the needs of a person. But then I had to go to work, because I'm a responsible adult and stuff, who fills my time with all manner of things that are… Continue reading Another post-GRUE Post: Part 2 – Ownership of time
Another Post-Grue Post: Part 1 – Addressing the needs of each relationship
I'm a fan of using precise language to break down concepts in my own head. For example, differentiating between "my night" and "the night he spends with me" in relation to my partner and how he divides his time among his partners. Key word: His time. Does it mean the same thing if I'm trying… Continue reading Another Post-Grue Post: Part 1 – Addressing the needs of each relationship
The Frustration with French Fries
The most painful part of my monthly waxing isn't the part where she's ripping the hair out my most sensitive places. It's having to maintain a conversation with her for the two hours I spend on her table. Yes, two hours. She's meticulous. She's "tweezers to the ass crack" meticulous. This is why I put… Continue reading The Frustration with French Fries
Don’t you get jealous?
Usually when I tell people that my relationship is unconventional, they have one of two reactions: curiosity or concern. Nobody has really shunned me for it. Some people have surprised me and shared that I'm not the first person they've met who's been involved in a poly-type relationship. By and large, the most frequent question… Continue reading Don’t you get jealous?
Sex-Specters, Orgasm Demons, and Jizz Sheets: An Evolution of my perceptions of other people’s sex lives and *my* space
I was in a love-full and sex-less marriage. I don't remember the last time I had sex with my husband before he died, but I'd estimated it'd been at least three years, if not longer. When I started dating again...well, the first guy was poly and his partner wasn't comfortable with him having sex… Continue reading Sex-Specters, Orgasm Demons, and Jizz Sheets: An Evolution of my perceptions of other people’s sex lives and *my* space