Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

A Walk in the Desert: On taking things at the pace of the slowest person

There's a saying I've been hearing from people in poly circles over the past couple of months, in regards to opening up a relationship: "It's best to take it at the pace of the slowest person." Last night I heard it in a sightly different way, "to take it at the pace of the slowest… Continue reading A Walk in the Desert: On taking things at the pace of the slowest person

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

The thing about not feeling “enough”

The most frequent statement I read from people trying to transition into polyamorous relationships for their partner is the sense that they feel like they are "not enough." Whenever I see that line, my heart sort of aches for them. I understand that feeling and where it comes from, but somehow it doesn't affect me… Continue reading The thing about not feeling “enough”

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

My advice to the partner of a Leeroy Jenkins-style Polyamorist

There is a metric fuckton of self work that has to go into successful polyamory, whether you're on the mono side or the poly side.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Kinkstuff, Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery

Rules are Condoms: An Imperfect Metaphor

Try to make a rule that your partner will never develop feelings for a sexual partner and be prepared to find yourself on the business end of a Klingon pain stick.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Kinkstuff, Love & Relationships

The Honesty Exchange (Revisited)

It looks a little bit like the symbol for recycling - not a one-for-one exchange, but symbiotic exchange running on a continuous loop.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

Another post-GRUE Post: Part 2 – Ownership of time

In the first part of this post, I shared my epiphany on thinking in terms of needs of a relationship instead of talking about the needs of a person. But then I had to go to work, because I'm a responsible adult and stuff, who fills my time with all manner of things that are… Continue reading Another post-GRUE Post: Part 2 – Ownership of time

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery

Another Post-Grue Post: Part 1 – Addressing the needs of each relationship

I'm a fan of using precise language to break down concepts in my own head. For example, differentiating between "my night" and "the night he spends with me" in relation to my partner and how he divides his time among his partners. Key word: His time. Does it mean the same thing if I'm trying… Continue reading Another Post-Grue Post: Part 1 – Addressing the needs of each relationship