She’s right there, asking me “But what If I do have sex with someone else and I end up feeling awful about it? What if I get my heart broken or my ego bruised? What if it makes me so emotional that it scares them off ‘cause now I’m crying and I can’t explain why? What if they feel used because this all turns out to prove that I’m not polyamorous and I can’t do it?”
Identities, for me, are not permanent. Well, not all of them, anyway. I allow for plenty of fluidity and lots of possibility for change in my life, so when I say I am monoamorous, I generally mean "have been up to this point in my life."
Once or twice a year I let my mind wander and imagine what it would be like to have another romantic relationship in addition to the amazing one I'm already in.
I would never have to enjoy my life without him. I would have my pepperoni forever. He made me happy. He loved me. I loved him. This whole pizza thing was making me hungry and confused.
All relationships are a gamble. Poly. Mono. Something in between. Something on another spectrum entirely. There's no guarantee that it will work indefinitely. You can only succeed if you try, but even then...it's not guaranteed.
There's a saying I've been hearing from people in poly circles over the past couple of months, in regards to opening up a relationship: "It's best to take it at the pace of the slowest person." Last night I heard it in a sightly different way, "to take it at the pace of the slowest… Continue reading A Walk in the Desert: On taking things at the pace of the slowest person
Imagine if I were to ask if anybody else out there has a kink of "playing poly." When asked to explain what I mean by "playing at poly," I described it as "you know, like when you pretend to sleep with everyone indiscriminately and not give a shit about what your partners think." I'll just… Continue reading Your Kink is Not My Kink, but Your Words Fucking Matter