As a monoamorous person who has dated a handful of polyamorous partners over the last four years, I am happy to say that I have never had to increase or reduce the number of people I have wanted to be in a relationship with to make any partner happy.
If I were a Phyllis, and the only type of "camping" that could work for me was one that included a 24-hour room service menu, 10,000 thread count sheets, and HBO access - then I think we can all agree that it's not really camping.
From the archives: This post was originally published on Fetlife a few years ago. I'm starting to transfer some of those posts over here. This one's hard for me to write. I've started it several times and abandoned it along the way. It's about need. In a previous writing that a lot of you did… Continue reading Yet another essay about want and need and overcoming codependency
When you're saying "it's fine" and it's clearly not.
All relationships are a gamble. Poly. Mono. Something in between. Something on another spectrum entirely. There's no guarantee that it will work indefinitely. You can only succeed if you try, but even then...it's not guaranteed.
Do your ups and downs have forward motion -- or do you keep revisiting the same spot over and over again?
Too many different things in my head. Rather than post a bunch of blogs in one night, I'm doing the ol' One Blog, Multiple Thoughts post. First up - I received an email from findpoly.com asking if they could sponsor one of my blog posts for the month. So, I've upgraded the wordpress plan to… Continue reading Thoughts: One Post, Many Topics
...the bottom line is - we don't hate the concept of polyamory. We just don't wanna be poly ourselves.
The most frequent statement I read from people trying to transition into polyamorous relationships for their partner is the sense that they feel like they are "not enough." Whenever I see that line, my heart sort of aches for them. I understand that feeling and where it comes from, but somehow it doesn't affect me… Continue reading The thing about not feeling “enough”
When you imagine your perfect relationship(s), it might be a little bit like a Jenga tower: an eighteen-story stack of 54 wood blocks; organized in pallets of three in alternating directions. It's all the pieces you want....like that mental checklist you have of what "happily ever after" is going to look like for you one… Continue reading Relationship Jenga