I’ve been challenged here, and I’ve been supported. I feel this place has given me the space and the grace to put words to my feelings, and names to the dynamics I’ve dealt with.
Tag: nonmonogamy
Answering a question: How hard is it to find the right polycule and work out all the “growing pains?”
It's easy when it happens organically without any prior agenda the way winning the lottery is easy, but you'll most certainly experience many losses along the way and a win is not guaranteed.
Sabotage by Comparison
imagine if every time I started dating a polyamorous person, I gave up on the relationship because I compared our relationship to one they enjoyed with someone else - whether it's someone they had been with for years or someone they'd just started dating.
When insecurities are driving your relationship(s)
The next thing you know, the insecurity is in control not only of the established relationship, but its tendrils are reaching in and poking at the soft spots in the nascent one as well.
The other side of the comparison trap
We've been socialized since birth to view everything in terms of "which is better, which is worse" and it's really difficult to unlearn that habit.
The one that explains how I think boundaries work
My aunt, on the topic of love, has always said "when you feel, you know..." and I was starting to think that the concept of boundaries was as nebulous as trying to define the concept of love.
The Pizza Analogy
I would never have to enjoy my life without him. I would have my pepperoni forever. He made me happy. He loved me. I loved him. This whole pizza thing was making me hungry and confused.
On biting that apple
What if where you are in your life is EXACTLY where you're supposed to be right now? What would that be like, to stop comparing your current location to a perceived end-game?
The exchange rate for exclusivity: A potentially divisive opinion
As a monoamorous person who has dated a handful of polyamorous partners over the last four years, I am happy to say that I have never had to increase or reduce the number of people I have wanted to be in a relationship with to make any partner happy.
It’s not “fine.”
When you're saying "it's fine" and it's clearly not.
polyammering 