Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

The exchange rate for exclusivity: A potentially divisive opinion

As a monoamorous person who has dated a handful of polyamorous partners over the last four years, I am happy to say that I have never had to increase or reduce the number of people I have wanted to be in a relationship with to make any partner happy.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

On Camping and Poly + Mono Relationships

If I were a Phyllis, and the only type of "camping" that could work for me was one that included a 24-hour room service menu, 10,000 thread count sheets, and HBO access - then I think we can all agree that it's not really camping.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

Possibilities are not guaranteed

All relationships are a gamble. Poly. Mono. Something in between. Something on another spectrum entirely. There's no guarantee that it will work indefinitely. You can only succeed if you try, but even then...it's not guaranteed. 

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Kinkstuff, Love & Relationships, Memoirs

Putting relationships on “hold”

I have such a visceral reaction to the phrase "put my other relationship on hold" in the poly discussion groups. It's usually a phrase uttered when the following scenario applies: The hinge in a "vee" has developed a solid and happy relationship with one partner that going swell, but everything in their additional relationship is… Continue reading Putting relationships on “hold”

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Family Relationships, Love & Relationships

Family Holidays for the Non-Anchor Partners

I adapted. Thanksgiving isn't a Thursday holiday anymore. Now it's a Friday. Christmas happens several days later. Sometimes New Years eve is a day earlier or a day or two later, as well.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

Roller Coasters and Trampolines

Do your ups and downs have forward motion -- or do you keep revisiting the same spot over and over again? 

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships, Memoirs

The Consequences of Consequence Free Devotion

"My partner is extremely jealous. He cheats on me. He locks his phone but insists I keep mine unlocked and that he's allowed to check it whenever he likes. I can't be friends on facebook with any men who aren't related to me, I can never talk to any of my exes, and he is… Continue reading The Consequences of Consequence Free Devotion

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Family Relationships, Love & Relationships

Thoughts: One Post, Many Topics

Too many different things in my head. Rather than post a bunch of blogs in one night, I'm doing the ol' One Blog, Multiple Thoughts post. First up - I received an email from findpoly.com asking if they could sponsor one of my blog posts for the month. So, I've upgraded the wordpress plan to… Continue reading Thoughts: One Post, Many Topics

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Family Relationships, Love & Relationships

Some thoughts on Hierarchy vs Couples Privilege

The subject of hierarchy comes up often in poly discussion groups. People generally fall into the camps of "hierarchy is fine" or "hierarchy is evil" and usually those who fall into the former are at the top of the pyramid, and those in the latter have been burned by being at the bottom. I think… Continue reading Some thoughts on Hierarchy vs Couples Privilege