Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Family Relationships, Love & Relationships

Some thoughts on Hierarchy vs Couples Privilege

The subject of hierarchy comes up often in poly discussion groups. People generally fall into the camps of "hierarchy is fine" or "hierarchy is evil" and usually those who fall into the former are at the top of the pyramid, and those in the latter have been burned by being at the bottom. I think… Continue reading Some thoughts on Hierarchy vs Couples Privilege

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

A Walk in the Desert: On taking things at the pace of the slowest person

There's a saying I've been hearing from people in poly circles over the past couple of months, in regards to opening up a relationship: "It's best to take it at the pace of the slowest person." Last night I heard it in a sightly different way, "to take it at the pace of the slowest… Continue reading A Walk in the Desert: On taking things at the pace of the slowest person

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Kinkstuff, Love & Relationships

Your Kink is Not My Kink, but Your Words Fucking Matter

Imagine if I were to ask if anybody else out there has a kink of "playing poly." ¬†When asked to explain what I mean by "playing at poly," I described it as "you know, like when you pretend to sleep with everyone indiscriminately and not give a shit about what your partners think." I'll just… Continue reading Your Kink is Not My Kink, but Your Words Fucking Matter

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

The Monocorn Sanctuary

...the bottom line is - we don't hate the concept of polyamory. We just don't wanna be poly ourselves.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

The thing about not feeling “enough”

The most frequent statement I read from people trying to transition into polyamorous relationships for their partner is the sense that they feel like they are "not enough." Whenever I see that line, my heart sort of aches for them. I understand that feeling and where it comes from, but somehow it doesn't affect me… Continue reading The thing about not feeling “enough”

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Love & Relationships

My advice to the partner of a Leeroy Jenkins-style Polyamorist

There is a metric fuckton of self work that has to go into successful polyamory, whether you're on the mono side or the poly side.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Kinkstuff, Love & Relationships, Self-Discovery

Rules are Condoms: An Imperfect Metaphor

Try to make a rule that your partner will never develop feelings for a sexual partner and be prepared to find yourself on the business end of a Klingon pain stick.

Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory, Kinkstuff, Love & Relationships

The Honesty Exchange (Revisited)

It looks a little bit like the symbol for recycling - not a one-for-one exchange, but symbiotic exchange running on a continuous loop.