I have such a visceral reaction to the phrase "put my other relationship on hold" in the poly discussion groups. It's usually a phrase uttered when the following scenario applies: The hinge in a "vee" has developed a solid and happy relationship with one partner that going swell, but everything in their additional relationship is… Continue reading Putting relationships on “hold”
I adapted. Thanksgiving isn't a Thursday holiday anymore. Now it's a Friday. Christmas happens several days later. Sometimes New Years eve is a day earlier or a day or two later, as well.
Do your ups and downs have forward motion -- or do you keep revisiting the same spot over and over again?
The subject of hierarchy comes up often in poly discussion groups. People generally fall into the camps of "hierarchy is fine" or "hierarchy is evil" and usually those who fall into the former are at the top of the pyramid, and those in the latter have been burned by being at the bottom. I think… Continue reading Some thoughts on Hierarchy vs Couples Privilege
There's a saying I've been hearing from people in poly circles over the past couple of months, in regards to opening up a relationship: "It's best to take it at the pace of the slowest person." Last night I heard it in a sightly different way, "to take it at the pace of the slowest… Continue reading A Walk in the Desert: On taking things at the pace of the slowest person
The most frequent statement I read from people trying to transition into polyamorous relationships for their partner is the sense that they feel like they are "not enough." Whenever I see that line, my heart sort of aches for them. I understand that feeling and where it comes from, but somehow it doesn't affect me… Continue reading The thing about not feeling “enough”
Try to make a rule that your partner will never develop feelings for a sexual partner and be prepared to find yourself on the business end of a Klingon pain stick.
Don't be a Darren.
In the first part of this post, I shared my epiphany on thinking in terms of needs of a relationship instead of talking about the needs of a person. But then I had to go to work, because I'm a responsible adult and stuff, who fills my time with all manner of things that are… Continue reading Another post-GRUE Post: Part 2 – Ownership of time
I'm a fan of using precise language to break down concepts in my own head. For example, differentiating between "my night" and "the night he spends with me" in relation to my partner and how he divides his time among his partners. Key word: His time. Does it mean the same thing if I'm trying… Continue reading Another Post-Grue Post: Part 1 – Addressing the needs of each relationship
polyammering 