First, I'll establish my credentials: I'm a monogamous (or mono-amorous) person in a relationship with a polyamorous man. My monogamy is my choice, not necessarily his preference just as his polyamory is his choice, not necessarily my preference. We've been at it for just over a year now and it's going really swell. I have,… Continue reading Change your Cookbook: A monogamuggle’s guide to cookin’ with polyfolk
Tag: Ethical Nonmonogamy | Polyamory
A love letter to my friends
The other day, I read the words "I deserve to be surrounded by people who appreciate me..." and saw a writing in which someone wrote a letter to her partner's partners. Two different writings that I've since lost track of. So, with the full disclosure of where this particular writing is coming from, understand that… Continue reading A love letter to my friends
I Choo Choo Choose You!
The topic of the "Veto" came up recently in conversation. While engaging in very healthy communication and negotiation with a new partner, a friend of mine was told that their partner's wife had "limited veto power." Which made the collective group go *gulp*. My friend communicated back (because yay communication!) for clarification on what "limited… Continue reading I Choo Choo Choose You!
Wipe the Glass (Happy Birthday, Tony.)
He'd have been 55 today. I didn't want it to affect me, but I can't pretend it didn't. It's a really strange combination of emotions - knowing that I'm happier and healthier now, knowing that I've found love again and pulled my life back together and survived an incredible loss. And still feeling off on… Continue reading Wipe the Glass (Happy Birthday, Tony.)
Quick poly analogy about “fairness”
"If you ate a cookie and my cookie fell on the floor in the middle of a New York City gutter, you have to find the nearest restroom facility and puke up your cookie."
I have lots of collars. Lots and lots and lots. They're accessories, though, like the many many rings i have and wear when I'm dressing up for a special occasion. But not like the rings I keep tucked in a special box in my jewelry drawer: my engagement and wedding rings. Those are different. Those… Continue reading The Collar
Open Relationships; Closed Minds (a rant)
Note: This is a rant about something I experienced today. I do not think ALL poly people are this way. Not even ALL the poly people in the chatroom where this happened felt this way. Just the very vocal ones. But I'm upset by it and I need to vent, so...boom: blog post. I asked… Continue reading Open Relationships; Closed Minds (a rant)
Don’t “Dutch Oven” Your Partner(s)
It's a common thread in the poly relationship advice forums. (Usually) the "primary" (or longer-term) partner starts to feel that their partner is taking advantage of NRE and/or taking the longevity of their relationship for granted. Examples: "He takes his other partners out who don't have jobs or cars and spends a lot of money… Continue reading Don’t “Dutch Oven” Your Partner(s)
The Polyamorous Boogeyman
They're like condoms for poly-style relationships. They might help keep you safe, but the only way to really be sure is abstinence from relationships entirely.
I Dream of Poly
It was the first time I'd encountered Tony in a dream since his death that wasn't laced with fear, angst, anger, or disappointment.